The Greater Gift by Claire McIntosh

June 30, 2017

Before I met Jesus I was a singer/songwriter. The only place in the world where I felt at ease was on a stage, and the only way I was able to communicate with people was through song. It was my safe place. After I met Jesus, the most natural thing in the world for me to do was to begin to lead worship. It became the new place where I was most at ease, most myself. Safe.

I love how God takes our gifts and shows us the real reason He gave them to us. I thought I was meant to sing to connect with people’s sorrow. God meant me to sing to show His goodness, His greatness, His love. So, for over 30 years I led worship. I loved working with the pastor and partnering with the message of the morning. I loved to look out at our church family as they worshipped, and watch the Holy Spirit calm fears, heal hearts, free minds. I learned to recognize His presence, to hear His voice, to see what He was doing. To honor God in a way that captured the unbeliever and welcomed him into His presence. I loved seeing the power of the enemy broken and people set free. I learned to work in partnership with the Holy Spirit in ways people never saw. And I loved it. But seasons change, don’t they? The role we play and the positions we hold change over time. 

I’m not a lead pastor anymore. I’m not a worship leader. And to be honest, when that change first came it threw me off balance and uncovered places in my heart where God had much work to do. I was afraid I’d never know His presence so sweetly again. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see so clearly what He was doing, and do it with Him. I was afraid that if I wasn’t singing, my gifts weren’t useful. But what really was the greater gift? Was it leading worship, or was it all the things He taught me as I lead? For me, worship was really just the classroom. 

It’s hard not to jump into old patterns in new places, new seasons, isn’t it? We feel insecure so in order to feel “like ourselves” we try to replicate a former job in a new place, and it doesn’t always work. Do we replace someone who is growing in their gift so that we can shine in ours?  Do we push someone out so we can feel like we fit in? Do we manipulate and maneuver until we like where we are? If we do we usually end up hurting the people we’re meant to love, and hurting ourselves. 

So now, once again I’m in a new season. This one is different than any I’ve walked through before and to be honest, I feel a bit awkward and lost at times. I miss leading worship. I miss the other jobs I’ve had and work I’ve done. But God wants me to slow down and see if, once again, maybe there’s a new place for His gifts to shine. To take a chance and go slow. To be brave and wait.

I still love all the things I learned in worship. I love the anointing of God’s presence. I love to listen to His voice and follow the Holy Spirit’s lead in the moment. And I don’t need to be singing to do that. 

God develops us as we serve Him. He graces us, and gifts us, and grows us. Our jobs will change, and so will the positions and places where we serve Him. But the things He works in us, these are the greater gifts. And these are ours forever.

Claire McIntosh