Faith Walk by Kari Bulman
January 1st, 2018
Have you ever prayed a dangerous prayer? We all know that we aren’t supposed to pray for patience. No one is dumb enough to do that, right?! That’s American Christianity 101…don’t pray prayers that cause discomfort. However, five years ago at a women’s retreat I prayed a very dangerous prayer. I told the Lord that I didn’t want to miss anything that He had for me. I also gave Him permission to remove any obstacles in my life that would keep me from fulfilling His plans. I had no idea what a risky prayer that was.
Needless to say, the next couple of years was a process of some serious soul work. Little did I know that removing obstacles meant taking out unhealthy thought processes and habits that I had completely built my world around. When I prayed the prayer, I was thinking of Him moving me into situations where I would have more opportunities…not changing me! God knows I wouldn’t have run into that process full sprint if I had any clue. So, the process began and gradually, as I surrendered, the Lord began to present opportunities to serve Him. The interesting thing is that He opened up doors that I would have never dreamed of stepping into and asked me to step into leadership situations that I would have never thought to place myself. I found myself continuously challenged to say yes to His plans, and not what I thought I should be doing. Translation, I found myself in a lot of uncomfortable situations that pressed me into the position of being fully reliant on Him. I have to admit that as difficult as that has been, it has been exciting to see Him ultimately come through in every situation and provide me with what I have needed to lead.
Let’s be real though, I have definitely had my days of feeling like I was just not up to the tasks in front of me. I have had tearful moments behind closed doors venting to my poor sweet husband and explaining to him how certain I was that God needed to bring someone to take over my role as worship leader at our church. Moments when I have wondered why on earth He has us serving at Kids’ Camp when we have never been gifted children’s ministry leaders. I have moments where I would love to just shrink back and choose to do my own thing. The thing that I always get hung up on is this:
I TRULY DON’T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING THAT HE HAS FOR ME...
...EVEN THOSE DIFFICULT, CHARACTER-BUILDING,
FAITH-REQUIRING SITUATIONS.
He is always asking us to act in faith, isn’t He? Especially in leadership ministry. We find ourselves being challenged to follow Him with hearts full of faith down uncharted paths. He is pressing us to have faith that He knows what He is doing, that He knows where He has placed us, that He is our provider, and that He truly is the author and the perfecter of our faith. He is the one who knows the plan for my life and if He is truly asking me to step out, then there will be good that comes from my willingness to obey in faith. My job is not to know the full picture. My job is to put my confidence in the one who does know the plan for my life. All I have to do is respond to His leading by saying yes to each step with obedience.
“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, ‘In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.’ But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”
Hebrews 10:35-39
Kari Bulman
